Bpd shame after discard. And while I have had many bad and hurtful experiences with people who have the PD, I have had a lot of really enjoyable times too. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss… This, after constantly telling me I was the love of her life, she’s so lucky she found me, she couldn’t ever imagine life without me. Oct 24, 2022 · What You Should Know About Shame Shame is a normal emotion everyone experiences at one time or another. It's only natural when you have a serious long-term intimate relationship with someone, and they just up and ghost you for no reason. May 6, 2025 · Narcissist discard is a phase in the narcissistic abuse cycle where the narcissist distances themselves from or ends a relationship once they no longer perceive the other person as useful or fulfilling their needs. I don't think the statement we hover after discard and they don't is true. In fact the actual discard happened a lot earlier through behaviours that showed they had no respect for me. After only a few months post-discard she talked about the pain in the past tense, saying things like ‘It was hard at first not talking to you when I wanted to message you or send something funny’. When my Mar 6, 2025 · The shift from idealization and devaluation is called splitting in borderline personality disorder (BPD). My ex also has quiet BPD, and I would say she fits the description of your ex and situation pretty well. Discover practical techniques to overcome negative self-perception and build self-compassion while living with BPD. Jul 20, 2020 · Few things are more intoxicating than a partner who is brimming with infatuation, or more inexplicable than to watch this same person become resentful and start disengaging for no apparent reason. One of the most painful experiences in relating to someone with BPD is when they devalue and discard their partner or friend. Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast with Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. Jan 1, 2021 · When a BPD discards us they seemingly completely emotionally detach as if we never meant anything. But her cycle will get faster and you'll get treated worse as each cycle passes. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: My thoughts on Discard / Silent Treatment / No Contact Sep 6, 2017 · Do you know the things you should do or the things you should say to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? If not, join the millions of family, friends, and/or coworkers who don’t In some cases you will decide when the final discard happens. Does that mean they lose all memories of the relationship? Absolutely not. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: What causes the BPD to discard? Mar 4, 2023 · Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend with suspected or diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder? Have you been ghosted and/or discarded? Is it a final discard? How can you now? Listen to "BPD Breakup What is The BPD FINAL DISCARD? Go From Limbo To End Of Breakup Cycles" on Spreaker. We experience shame when: • we are rejected or excluded by others • remembering a time when we felt exposed, rejected, or abandoned • someone shares something about us that we’d prefer to keep We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Okay, so you probably Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. I think the people I knew with BPD already didn’t value me as a person, and you can’t regret losing something you never actually cared about in the first place. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: The Final Discard So today was my ex borderline’s birthday and I spent most of my day thinking about everything that has happened the past half a year and I realized something. I understand almost every single person with BPD has had a very rough upbringing. Click here to see what BPD devaluation looks like and how to treat it. This guide offers strategies for responding to a BPD discard in a healthy and constructive way. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: By far the most helpful words I read about BPD discard 502 votes, 75 comments. The BPD can’t then admit to the shameful act and break up with the non as this would enforce their shame and remove them For me, the relationship with a classic pwBPD is hell, while the discard by a quiet BPD is infernal. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. So the question is, what does a person who has borderline think and feel about themselves What is BPD Splitting? See real life examples of during a BPD episode, answers to questions like "How Long Does BPD Splitting Last?" & more. As you become less and less effective as a drug in numbing their pain. I feel like no. BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to leave the relationship. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: The final discard BPDFamily. Stay strong. Is this because they genuinely felt nothing, or are they burying their emotions to protect themselves? Sep 18, 2024 · Learn 8 effective strategies for managing shame associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). . Because people with BPD have a hard time understanding themselves and others, they may act "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Hello all, i read this somewhere and thought i’d share it in here. Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. This isn't about blaming the person with BPD; it's about understanding the situation and prioritizing your own well-being. In a relationship with a person suffering with the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) these extreme highs and lows are commonplace. You may be the one hovering now because of the quick split and discard. Shame is a significant emotional challenge in BPD. Some BPD don't discard, but instead get more intense over time. Jun 23, 2022 · They will also lack any sense of accountability for their own behaviour and will project blame onto you for the silent treatment and discard, as they cannot feel any shame or guilt for the way they may have treated you previously. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship > Topic: Do they ever regret the discard? Do they unsplit us? Jan 1, 2021 · BPDFamily. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD often struggle with object constancy, meaning they can’t hold a balanced, stable view of others. Despite all the pain and suffering I went through, I am grateful for this beautiful opportunity that is the discard and I am going to help you learn how to be grateful to your ex pwBPD for their discard as well. Nov 21, 2022 · What to Expect When Your BPD Partner Ends the Relationship Because of the complex nature of BPD, when a person with BPD ends a relationship, it is usually not their intention to break up. In fact, breaking up may be a part of a borderline personality relationship cycle that people can find themselves in. This abrupt switch—from love to hate, from adoration to disgust—is called “splitting,” a hallmark of borderline personality disorder (BPD). For those who still are in shock about the discard this will help you understand what has happened. Jun 28, 2024 · In borderline personality disorder (BPD), devaluation is a coping mechanism to manage fears. Apr 21, 2025 · The experience often feels sudden, brutal, and leaves you questioning everything. Jul 23, 2023 · What happens when a BPD devalues you? Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a condition characterized by difficulty regulating emotions, impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, and a fragile sense of self. 93K subscribers in the BPDlovedones community. These defense mechanisms make relationships challenging. Both are bad, with the main differentiating factor being which part of the relationship history most likely feels the worst. This is essentially why they become so emotionless towards you after the discard, simply because you never meant anything to the version that was just created because it was literally just born after the discard and never had a relationship with you in the first place. I don’t have BPD, but I want to be clear don’t have hate. Apr 19, 2025 · In most cases, you didn’t do anything wrong. So I have a lot of sympathy. l9qhw0egibzdfx7ip2h3jhewb0cdwmpvcq